On the Same Page

Dull Dan really living up to his name?

She’d been there with Gianna when a conservative group had protested outside of the LGBTQ+ Center in college their senior year and Gianna had decided to take her top off, bra included, as she’d walked by them to give them something to really feel scandalized about. There was no shame in her game.

“We don’t want to have a slumber party like we’re in fucking middle school. We wanted you to get us into Grigio,” Amber retorted, shaking her head as she turned away from her to flag down the bartender again.

Right now, though, it swamped her. She didn’t know what to do while she felt like this. it – she – felt… ugly. Ugly and cold and mean, and her chest felt heavy and constricted, just like it had when Riley had left last month.

Which Gianna did have.

This was fine. She didn’t need those fake friends; why would she? And if she did decide she wanted them back, then she could get them back! Clearly, all their friendship cost was a ticket to fashion week

Maybe she was experiencing compulsory heteronormativity or something?

And you’d like to do it, with me?

knew it in the way that she knew every detail about Gianna’s sex life – every person she’d been with, the way she wanted to be touched, the things people had done that had surprised her in both good and bad ways. She knew every little detail, because Gianna had absolutely no qualms in sharing it. She was so open about her sex life and sexuality and was so sex-positive, Riley honestly supposed she could be a little more surprised that this hadn’t ever come up between them, before.

She, Riley Jane Beckett, had a sex date with her best friend.

Riley knew, in theory, how to touch a woman, she thought as she absently stirred the cream into her coffee at her desk. She was a woman, so… yeah, she understood the anatomy. But making a woman come seemed harder than making a man come, that seemed obvious. She took longer to come than any boyfriend she’d ever had. But, was there a trick?

Maybe the fact that she knew the ins and outs – no pun intended – of Gianna’s sexual preferences in the past would be handy – no pun intended.

Here was Owen, desperately hoping to have a second chance at wooing Gianna at the Holiday Spectacular. But it was her, of all people, that Gianna had made plans to hook up with.

What was new, though, was that it kickstarted a strange feeling deep in her stomach. This feeling that edged along the nerves that had kept her on-edge and daydreaming. An edge that was sharp with curiosity and anticipation in equal measure, one that had her stomach flip-flopping in a much more pleasant way than the anxiety.

It was weird to admit that she now had this fascination with something she’d never thought about before only a day ago, but now, it was true.

Most of the photos featured her with Gianna – them skiing in Aspen, hiking in Yellowstone, lounging on the beach in the Bahamas.

“No, no, no. Just, you stay where you are. This is fine. This is good. This is optimal for relaxation.”

A small smile played at her lips as she turned back to press her face against the bed. Yep, definitely on the same page.

octave, full of her joking tone. “Waves crashing on the shore. Your anchors listening to the things you tell them. The smell of a freshly baked cookie. Looking at your shoe collection and knowing you have a pair to match every outfit. Me, giving you a massage–”

“Something funny, carina?” Gianna asked, the Italian endearment slipping off her tongue.

“I think it was better to start this way,” she stated, feeling her heart pound harder as she looked into Gianna’s eyes, her pupils blown. “You were right.”

Only for a few seconds, before she blinked herself out of it, and traded shirts. “Not sure if I’ve ever told you think, but you have great tits,” Gianna said, as she tugged Riley’s sweatshirt on.

Riley huffed out a laugh, pulling the sweatshirt she’d bought for Gianna down onto herself. “Coming from you, whose body looks like it was sculpted by gods, that means a lot.”

“If work gets stressful while I’m away, you always have some new items at home to help work it all out.” That cheeky tone was, again, so normal.

When she looked at Ellie again, her sister wasn’t looking at her, but was instead staring down at her phone, where an incomplete email looked back at her. But Riley knew she wasn’t thinking about work. No, the cogs in her sister’s giant brain were thinking about her.

“Well, perhaps this wasn’t the best place for you to tell me that you almost had sex with Gianna, because – hey, surprise! – you’re not straight.”

“First, it’s been forever since I’ve had sex. And I miss it, Ellie. I want it.” God, she really, really did.

“But I think I might want to.”

“Let me explain! There are a lot of very logical parts to this.”

“Second, I’ve had such bad luck in dating lately that I’m not even sure I can stomach going on another date with a guy for months. At least. And third, if Gianna and I have sex, it means that I get to have fun, explore this whole side to my sexuality, and not worry about anything.”

“No!” Ellie reached up and pulled Riley’s hand away from her, vehemently shaking her head. “So, you don’t have feelings for Gianna and you want to – to just start having sex with her?”

“Gianna is your best friend. Unless you are both totally and completely on the same page, it could get really complicated and someone could get hurt.” Ellie’s gaze was intent and intense as it locked onto Riley’s. “Seriously hurt.”

When they’d started her tutoring, the first practice test Ellie had given her resulted in a 69 – which, for the record, Ellie did not find as amusing as Gianna had.

“People are my kind of science, Ellie.”

“You deserve better than that,”

“Even if you’re right, that still leaves me with no clear path forward,”

“I guess, men are the people who usually approach me or ask me out. And they’re easy.” She arched an eyebrow at Riley, “I know when a man is interested. And I know how I make them interested. Women don’t feel so simple.”

You were just a child, with no control over your own life, taken from the only stability you’d been given.

knew you were scared and hurting. I hated so deeply that you were taken from me, but I never was mad at you.

She had to tell Gianna that she had feelings for her. It was a part of their agreement from the day they’d crossed the line into something more, it was an agreement Gianna set forth with every sexual partner, one expected them to abide by. It was something that meant a lot to Gianna.

Gianna breathed out a laugh that was more derision than anything else. “I mean, why would my parents getting married and not even telling me about it, let alone invite me to it, be a big deal? At the very least, they’re consistent. Some people would love to have consistency from their parents.”

“Why am I just so inconsequential to them?”

“I just don’t understand. I’ll never understand. It doesn’t matter what I do or how successful I am – I just don’t understand.”

“Why don’t they care?” Gianna asked, eventually, when her tears subsided and her breathing was coming back to normal.

“Why did they even have me, if they just don’t care?”

“What the hell is the point? What’s the point of having one if you don’t love them? Abortion was already way legal when they got pregnant with me, so why? Why would they have me, if they didn’t want me around, ever? I would want my child to feel so… loved,” her voice turned soft. Contemplative. “I would want them to feel – vital. Important.”

“So, you and Gianna have been, uh, engaging in intercourse–”

“Because of politics, and wars, and foreign affairs, and capitalism, even down to local crime – just to name a few things – the future of the world looks pretty fucking bleak, especially on the news. Who wants to watch that all of the time?”

“I know I said it wouldn’t change anything, but that was before you two broke things off.”

“I’m scared,”

“And I kissed you because of that. I kissed you, because I have feelings for you. I kissed you, because when I heard what you said tonight on the livestream, I could have passed out from how fucking happy it made me.”

“I kissed you, because I’ve missed being able to kiss you for the last three days. Because I couldn’t stand to hear you berate yourself when you didn’t do anything wrong. At least,” a wild, disbelieving laugh broke from her throat, “You didn’t do anything I also didn’t do, ten times worse.”

“You’re really going to make me say it? Fine. There’s a difference between people like us,” he gestured between them, “And most other people. Like Riley.”

Maybe I should… date Riley.

“Are you shovel-talking me?!” She couldn’t help but dissolve into laughter, more than grateful to focus on that, than the unknown logistics of her impending date. “I would have never expected this.”

“I would have supported you,” her honest answer was just as quiet, but less sad, even as she mustered a small, humorless smile, “I mean, I think sometimes it might have been hard; god knows it was back with Ashton.”

“Even then, though, as much as I never thought he deserved you, as much as I hadn’t yet lived with my feelings for you for long enough that they’d become second-nature, I… I wanted it, for you.” It was as simple as that. It was all she could offer, as she shrugged, helplessly. “You have wanted the loving, unfailing relationship part of life since I’ve known you. So, I wanted it for you.”